It is precious to anyone hearing their child declare, “You are the greatest Dad in the world!” All the money in the world can’t buy you this. What is it that makes this beautiful intimacy possible! Believe it or not but oftentimes it is needed first to remind yourself what is of utmost value to you and then to make the conscious effort to work on it.
Today’s topic is about exactly that – what you need to do in order to be happy and complete in your relationships.
Why are they important
Honesty, openness, respect, support, trust, empathy, good heart…We all want to have all these around us. And we do wish this because other people are like a mirror image of us. No book or workshop will teach you how to be a human being. You become one, the best version, when you are a caring and responsible participant in a meaningful relationship.
That’s why it is essential to have a complete understanding how to make this happen.
Relationships, relationships… but which one?
The reality is that everybody is unique and aims at a different type of relationships. Some focus on their love life, or on friends. For some others it is family but it could also be co-workers, teammates, neighbors or simply anyone in their social circle.
Wherever your interest lies at the moment one thing is for sure – it is imperative to have a vision for it. And why is that?
Relationship vision – what is it
Building a vision for the important things in life will make your objectives clearer, and it will also add confidence in your decisions. Plus, it will keep you firmly on track in all endeavors. The way we regard and behave with each other is crucial. We rank this social interaction, together with health and personal finance, to be top priorities for anyone.
It is obvious that when it comes to the other two everyone expects pretty much the same – to be healthy and rich and not sick and poor. But relationships are quite another story. Different people have different preferences and attitudes which, in turn, can evolve significantly over the course of time.
By definition, visions are 25 year-long but this isn’t carved in stone. They need to be thoughtfully revised yearly to make sure they are still relevant.
This is especially true for the relationship vision because of the dynamic nature of you as a person. In the span of only few years, you can go through significant changes that would force you to want something quite surprising from your personal life. That’s why it makes sense to re-examine your vision and if required by new circumstances to refine it.
Let’s say that just a year ago you were only looking for love. Now, once you found it, your dream is to be the best possible parent. That’s quite a sea-change, isn’t it?
Apart from ever changing, this vision is a sum of many distinct elements. The best part is that it is also instrumental in advancing other visions.
Family, friends are some of the elements but it could also cover hobbies, sports, interest groups, etc. And curiously, relationships at work are on this list too.
Many try to firmly separate work from what’s private. The outcome is that the two often clash when not interconnected in a balanced way.
Look at yourself and think about how you interact with those who come from diverse background. You can learn a lot and also find things to improve on.
As far as our visions are concerned this is what we want to share with you.
Examples from our own experience
Our visions have had undergone many changes and by now they are pretty much of the same form and content. They are called “Family and Friends” and “Friends and Entertainment”. The family is paramount for us since we are married and we are parents.
We don’t wall off our family life. On the contrary, we integrate into it other good and blessed things that contribute to our happiness. To put it in other words, we try to achieve more within the wider boundaries of a bigger vision. It is an unforgettable pleasure for us when enjoying the company of both relatives and friends.
Goals for relationships – do you actually need these?
It turns out that no matter what this vision may include there is one thing which is inevitably present. What exactly? It is always about fun and great moments with those who you want to be with. Is it necessary then to treat this part of your life as the ones that require conscious effort? Why do you have to go through all the trouble if things happen in their own way with or without any input on your part?
Precisely because they don’t. Or at least not 100%.
Make time for fun
We don’t know about you but for us, work and career /we prefer to call it “mission”/ is truly exciting. It’s no coincidence that at the end of the work day we have more energy than in the beginning. The hours at the office are highly productive for us since we create added value in the process of work.
But on the flip side of the coin is the danger of overdoing it. When work is so much fun and so motivating you may get carried away and never slow down in the slightest. Though you may not quite realize it then, you still need a break to recharge and renew. Productivity goes up and workflow is much smoother after you take few days off to be with loved ones, regardless if it is the most fun job.
A matter of priorities
There is more to it, if you prioritize anything else but this one then you run the risk of being simply short on time. The sheer number of commitments will become overwhelming. You will be left depleted of any resources to make even the smallest effort towards anything else.
When we focus entirely on goal-setting for work and career then our leisure time ends up being less and less. Or worse, we can forget what it is like to have fun.
This is the reason to dedicate the time and effort. Don’t hesitate and start working on it! It’s neither wasteful nor unreasonable to do so. Don’t leave it to chance to meet new people and make friends! The vision for that will not only be a reminder of what’s at stake here but will also push you to start doing something about it.
Goals for relationships
We developed and integrated into Goal Buddy a highly effective method for getting things done. It is widely applicable, including in this case. Here it is how to achieve more:
After you make the vision crystal clear then you set up a 90-day action goal. Do a review and analyze results every 3 months. Then set a new one. Just work on your goal with a small weekly step!
Let’s have a look at ours!
One such objective could be about planning a ski or surfing trips. Destination and other activities are being chosen according to the interests of our friends. Everybody is included in one way or another and this helps things to go without a glitch.
A telling illustration is a family vacation without… kids. It might seem unconventional but it is somehow helpful once in a while. This makes the family grow stronger!
Speaking of vacations things can go a bit further. When your vision requires 12 of them in a year then the challenge is to organize them.
One other example is the desire for staying in a healthy relationship with parents and siblings.
An indispensable aspect of the vision is when we come across someone new who might become a worthwhile and meaningful contact. And why not a friend! This opportunity is more than welcomed. We simply benefit from it because while expanding our social reach it becomes easier and likelier for us to encounter more people.
The most endearing of all is to devote a full day to our children, i.e. father and son as well as father and daughter. Even if it isn’t happening every couple of months but only just once or twice a year these shared moments of intimate connection last as priceless mementos.
Many easily slip into the trap of working way too much. They end up paying for this by sacrificing their best moments with the beloved. Let be honest to ourselves, no one ever said on their death bed, “I wish I’d spent more time in the office
To wrap it up
Finally, we want to remind you that people around you are a key factor in your life. They affect the quality of its everyday experience. Do not ignore it! Just make sure you apply the conscious effort in this direction. The good will come back to you if you do as in the saying, “Always leave people better than you found them!”.
We hope this article was interesting and we helped you with some useful advice about a topic as multi-dimensional as this one. If you are interested in the more subtle aspect of communication then we recommend a book, “The Five Love Languages”. Reading it could be one of your next steps.
Write to us in the Facebook group about your inspiring vision and goals. And don’t forget to read the stories of all Goal Buddy friends.