One of the most common limiting beliefs goes something like that – “I don’t have the will power to pursue my dreams.” Usually, it is coupled with a poor understanding of how one can improve on self-control or apply it most efficiently. Today we will tackle this topic.
What is discipline anyway?
Let’s have a look at the meaning of it first:
Discipline is the order that a school teacher has to impose in class for a meaningful lesson. Or another example – it is enforcing the rules that the army views as an essential element of the military purpose.
Self-discipline, on the other hand, is something that comes from within us because of the realization that a specific type of action will result in exactly what we want.
We often confuse the two but in any case, we still feel some level of discomfort discussing either of them. Perhaps, we overemphasize a bit the importance of it all.
Discipline is overrated
We all know that being able to control ourselves is very hard and yet essential. The common understanding is that it is a requirement for difficult endeavors such as learning a foreign language or reach excellence in any profession. Without it, things are not going to happen for us.
Fortunately, this is way far from the truth!
We are human, and even if we can’t exert strict self-control all the time it isn’t going to stop us from striving towards a happier and more fulfilling life.
The two very different approaches
There are many ways in which you can go after an objective. But we all want a happy ending, aka the perfect result.
However, to get there we need to act accordingly. This, in turn, requires a great deal of self-control.
One option is to apply it in full so that we reach the finish line without giving up midway.
There is a much smarter and less painful way to get discipline work for us. It’s done with the help of a system of reaching results while being on an “auto-pilot”.
System and discipline
Ivan doesn’t think of himself as being one overly disciplined person. However, he channels his entire energy and skills to form a number of useful habits within a structured approach to things. This allows him to achieve a lot with less effort and time.
That’s exactly what we did developing our methodology.
We’ve constructed a behavioral model for quick and substantial results.
The 4 keys
- Vision – having a crystal clear understanding of what we want over a 30-year period;
- 90-day goals – you choose 3 to 5 of the top short-term objectives that can bring you closer to your dreams and then you work exclusively on them for the given quarter;
- Weekly Steps – completing one small task for each of your goals each week;
- A Goal Buddy – the person who is next to you to give a helping hand along the way.
This last element is the trickiest and hardest to master.
What could go wrong?
A couple of months ago we bumped into an acquaintance of ours at one of the events of “The Superman with Georgi Nenov”. This person had tried out our system some time ago with some initial success. But with time he started losing interest and eventually stopped using it.
Several months later he decided to give it another try. Again, things were perfectly okay in the beginning but the end was the same as before.
Motivation, as well as our will to pursue an objective, aren’t without an end. Think of them as the gas tank of your car which you have to fill up regularly.
Niki asked that same person a straightforward question, “Do you meet weekly with your Buddy?” The answer wasn’t much of a surprise to us, “No, not really.”
This is one mistake that is repeated over and over again
Behind every story of dropping out of our system, there is some issue with the Goal Buddy. It could be anything – from miscommunication to irregular meetings.
No surprise here – if you fail in this one aspect then don’t expect much good news down the road.
And vice versa:
It’s so much easier with the Buddy on your side
Everyone who tells us that the system does a great job for them has a strong relationship with their Goal Buddy.
And this is without any exception – these same people talk to their Buddies every single week and make sure to stay on track with the current objectives.
At the release party for our book at Helicon Bookstore, we met for the first time someone who has been faithfully following our system for several years. She told us how it has transformed her life. She was quick to point out how this was primarily because of the great relationship she had with her Goal Buddy.
Do this first
It’s not by accident that the person next to you is crucial for your success.
If there is only one thing you would take from our system it should be the Goal Buddy. This is the key that will unlock the whole process for you.
This person and the self-discipline are complementing each other. On one side, you have someone who makes sure you follow the rules. And on the other end is your strong willingness to work as a team on a regular basis.
Discipline and motivation
As we have seen from the example earlier our enthusiasm is not unlimited and we have to make sure it gets regularly replenished.
Often someone gives up only because they’ve run out of the energy to go on even if it was all working fine till that moment.
Self-discipline can play the role of motivation but to a certain degree, of course. Still, nothing can replace the will power as a restraining force on our behavior.
It’s not that easy. If it were it wouldn’t be that more than 90% of people give up in the end.
But that’s the moment when the system comes in to save the day.
Just like a rocket needs its stage engines to overcome Earth’s gravity we need a lot of inner strength and strife to fully master a goal-setting system. But once we’ve done that we don’t need the boosters of self-discipline and motivation since we’ve learned a lot and built many good habits in doing so.
The great impact of habit
We like to quote the following words of Dan Sullivan. “The truth is that all of us are already 100% self-disciplined – to our existing set of habits.”
Being able to successfully employ and utilize a goal-setting system is probably the most rewarding skill you can ever acquire. Any application of your motivation is well worth it for the following reasons:
- It will be easier to stay focused because you will have at your disposal a method rather than relying solely on enthusiasm;
- It’s harder to forget or ignore your objectives and strategies when you have them written down;
- The motivation levels will stay high since each quarter will come with another challenge and renewed desire to act;
- You will gain the confidence that your progress is fully sustainable!
You will no longer need the boosters since you’ve reached the orbit of sustainable success.
Here’s how to get started:
You must have already heard about our web site with its weekly podcasts and articles on the topic of goal setting.
If you are looking for more detailed information we strongly recommend the book “The 4 Keys to Achieving Goals.” You will see that its content is structured in such a manner that you will get the maximum out of it. All of the ideas and concepts are detailed and perfectly presented, guiding you step-by-step through everything you need to put the principles of the system into practice.
To make things even easier and much more fun, we organize special events to demonstrate how to build our model.
The first thing is to assist participants to draw a clear picture in their mind what they want in life. By the end of the day, you would have a ready plan, goals, and even the first little weekly action. So, if you think you don’t have it to spend a full day figuring out and writing your vision and objectives then join our workshop.
It will be one very good experience of immersing yourself in an amazing atmosphere filled with the energy of some incredible people, among whom you might find your Buddy.
And to draw the bottom line
We all agree that the starting point is that we want to reach some specific result. This, in turn, requires actions on our part. But these need to be done with perseverance and focus. Of course, if we were super focused and with more will power we would achieve much more. But we are only human and therefore somehow limited in that respect. So let’s do something else instead.
Let’s put all our efforts into building a system of habits and rules. It will work towards our objectives effortlessly and without us being required to always be in full control.
And let’s find this person who will support you in building and maintaining the habits over the years. In the end, you will be able to repeat the claim of the lady we met at the book event who said how something so simple and seemingly small turned out to be so transformative.