Hasn’t it happened to you that that you’ve done everything you planned but you didn’t get any closer to the objective? Today we’ll get deeper into this to explore what we truly strive for and how to go about the above-mentioned scenario.
Those things we often overlook
Whenever we work on something the motivation comes from the bigger objective and not the immediate outcome of our actions.
This is one key point that is often forgotten.
We may not spend enough time to bring our reasoning beyond any doubt about the answer to the “Why” question. This could easily become the source of some lasting feelings of disappointment and frustration.
Well, it’s tricky to achieve a perfect understanding of what we strive and struggle for in life.
From whom do we hide our true intentions?
Sometimes we are neither open about our objectives nor the rationale behind them. There are two distinct levels of it:
- We don’t discuss the topic with other people;
- We fail to admit to ourselves the obvious.
Both of these lead to internal conflict and sharp dissonance between what we want and what we do.
If we aren’t fully convinced in the true nature of our endeavor we’ll never get to do our best in the end.
Well, life is such that sooner or later the going will get tougher. This is the time to reach deep down in ourselves to replenish energy and determination from our understanding of why we are on this path.
Two typical cases
We may get into doing things with a specific idea in mind but it soon turns out that we aim for something else. Something so off the mark that it will inevitably slow if not obstruct us.
# 1 Getting in better shape
No matter how we define this objective (i.e. body fat, weight loss, etc.) we look at it believing that it’s all done in the name of our health.
Well, the reality could be something quite different, i.e. to feel good in our swimsuits or command some envy in those around us who pay too much attention to looks.
# 2 Getting rich
Almost everyone who has invested a lot of time and might have even risked their health would claim that it was all about the freedom money would give them.
Well, sooner or later it becomes clear that the driving force was something different, things like power over other people or even greed.
It’s more often than not the stimulus is to be found in status and recognition rather than being a matter of good health, financial security, etc.
The lies we tell ourselves
Working hard and eventually getting the expected result will not necessarily make us happy. There is something wrong, right? Most often the problem is that we fool ourselves with some half-truths or even outright lies.
Being unaware of what we go after ruins the whole process of goal-setting. It’s ironic to spend so much time in the gym, get in a good shape and yet not get what your vanity was pushing for. It’s equally sad to greatly increase your income but do so by sacrificing priceless things like family and health.
At some point, everyone may feel lost. We either go the wrong way or simply stay clueless where exactly we aim to be.
There are no wrong goals
We are not saying here what’s right and what’s wrong. After all said and done, you must know your true driving force.
The overall motivation in life comes from very few places. You can count these on the fingers of one hand. They give us the energy for the seemingly trivial as well as what matters most for us, such as family, career, and being a decent human being.
But let’s not forget this simple fact that there are more ways to achieve what you want even if you don’t quite clearly see the path forward at the moment.
We would offer two approaches in this respect.
Ask yourself why you are doing but don’t stop after the very first answer
Do the exercise we included in our book. Think of one purely material goal, such as a new car. Here is a possible line of Q&A you can have with yourself:
– Why do you want it?
– I want it to be new and bigger.
– And why is that?
– To be safe and comfortable while traveling with friends and family.
– So that I can enjoy the trip.
– To have quality time with my family and friends which is a way to take good care of them.
There is a lot to find out if you dig deeper under the surface. It turns out it isn’t so much about horsepower or the fashion statement that a new car is but about family values.
Set an experiment
The 90-day goals aimed at experimenting will help a lot with achieving clarity about your objectives. When we take on something we desire (or at least we think so), the easiest way to measure its value for us is through action.
Let’s say we decide we will be working for 3 months on a specific objective. Our efforts will certainly bring in some results after the quarter is over and we will know two things:
- If we are pleased with the outcome;
- Whether we enjoy the work and if we are willing to keep going like that for a longer period.
That’s how we manage to avoid becoming distracted and indecisive. And even if we can’t figure everything out right away, we can give it a second try with another 90-day goal.
Gaining clarity is a process
We know very well that it’s hard to sit down trying to write down on a piece of paper what went wrong with your dreams.
Perhaps we hide our true intentions because we are afraid of failure, or success, for that matter. The list of reasons can go on with other things like limiting beliefs or social stigma. To get out of this state we need the time, clarity, and concerted effort.
Luckily, there are different paths you can take to correct this.
In our workshop, for example, we do a lot of exercises to examine things as thoroughly as possible. With the help of a series of questions and challenges, we attack the issues from different angles. In the end, we put everything together in a simple plan. That’s how we lay down the foundation for building up our success.
If you have a minute, do it now. Focus on what is the most important thing you are currently doing. We are sure that there is probably something on your agenda right now – health, career, family, business, personal development, etc.
And now think about why you want it. Is there something you are skipping and not telling yourself or the people around you? How about any disconnect between your actual aspiration and the immediate results? Make sure you get a crystal clear understanding of what’s going and then you will be able to achieve any objective.